This week at the dance class I attend, we moved to a song that talked about “staying in yes” — focusing on what you want rather than what you don’t, evaluating all the options and choosing the best one.

I’m generally a little (okay, a lot) cynical about anything that edges towards a pop psychology sensibility of how to handle life, but the message of that song really resonated with me. I realized that I needed to ask myself a question: What really nourishes me and makes me feel positive and engaged, or at very least not as stressed and anxious? What triggers joy and healing rather than panic and PTSD?

Some of my answers weren’t surprising — writing, dancing, spending time with my animals — but others were. I managed to pinpoint for myself the ways in which I most feel comfortable socially interacting, in stark contrast to those which leave me feeling drained and on edge, and that was a real epiphany moment for me. It felt good to say, about a variety of things: This is what serves me, and I am going to focus my energy on it instead of fruitlessly continuing to pursue what doesn’t.

I’d encourage you to do the same. No dancing required, but it’s highly recommended!

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